The Good, The Bad, The Nothing

Some people consider being bad is easy. Just break the rules, don't follow any of them. And especially when you're high or drunk, then... it comes naturally. But it's also hard to be bad. Try being the bad guy in a situation that needs one. Rarely does one step up. And at these times, the people that do are the bad guys or actually doing the right thing. Or even try to break rules when you're basically a good person. It takes guts to break rules when you know that it would damage property, create loss, and even conflict danger to other beings. Especially when you have aged in your life and is presumably... wiser. But too much has been said about being bad anyways... so I'll skip it.

 

So is being good any easier? I think there is a misunderstanding about being good. Of course the term 'good' is relative but I'm not debating about it. The misunderstanding, I personally think is from either being good or doing nothing at all. Many of us tend to staple the 'good guys' to those that live their lives and not getting in to trouble; living live as it should be. While I think that this is the case of doing nothing. While being good is actually trying to be a saint. Helping people, saying thank you and please, no to be rude or impolite, of course to my own standard. So what are you? Or tp be more precise, what am I?

 

Take for instance when you see an accident happen and you just stair and watch. You're not laughing at the victims which could be relatively bad, but your not helping the victim at all being relatively good. You just watch... and see... and twit or change the status of you social network... and then tell someone. This is the case of doing nothing. Your neither good or bad.

 

Being nothing really depends on what your term of being good or bad is. If your default is being bad, then nothing is good. But if your default is good then nothing is bad.

 

I admit to be more of the doing nothing kinda person. I'm not good... I'm abstain. If I want to claim to be good, I should do good. If not that I should be bad. But not nothing, considering nothing is floating away.

 

In the case where people have a more colorful life, it's either being good or bad, and never nothing. I will not judge whomever has read this, even though I have made a verdict to which is good or bad or nothing. I'm applying this to myself as a reminder of what I want to be....

 

Why did I ever have this thought? I was reminded by a conversation I had with a new friend. It was spiritual and philosophical in mid day. Miss timing but valid. And I came to the 'wonders of mine' being... why am not that afraid of death? Am I a self righteous person thinking I've done good? Or am I bad having lost faith and fake believe that there is a consequence to my life on earth? This still remains a wonder since tendency is still on both side... I'll save that for later. 

In the Sahara

I'm so bored and down. I'm bored of work and really bad at it at the moment. My life is unplanned. My love life suck. My life is bland.

I don't know what I want now, and that is the most dangerous thing in life.

The Source of Silliness and Happiness

As I have mentioned before, I like silly things. I like weird, absurd, mind boggling things too, but silly makes me laugh and let me quote King Julian in Madagascar 2, 'I like laughing'.

It makes me wonder why I have such liking to the silly? I was reminded when I was gathering with old and new friends. It is at my age or so that people like to look smart or, I'm sure, are really smarter than me. They can joke between the politically correct and incorrect. And as I sit amongst them... I was a bit bored. Maybe the jokes was internal, maybe it was plain not funny, I'm sure it's because I'm not smart enough, but I kinda turned my interest to the other interesting things around me. It is then I realize I rather see someone put a Date (the fruit) up their nose and be silly and improvise on that rather than word play with facts of life. Well I like having half and half of everything. You can't expect me to keep up with  smart all the time, can you?

Then I wonder, why do I always want to be 14 when I'm clearly 30? Why do I always look for silliness? And when you're looking for an explanation for something in your life, the easiest answer would be... blame the parents hahahahaha...

My mother is the silly one actually. She loves to laugh and do things her way even though she knows it's silly. She admitted to me once that sometimes she does it on purpose just to make the ambiance a lot lighter and happier. It is this month (Ramadhan) that reminded me also of her silliness. It is on Idul Fitri where one of her antics just shakes my head. She loves to pray Ied at different locations. It just has to be not at home an she doesn't mind the distance (sigh!). For this purpose, she would leave my dad and brother (she takes me of course) to pray at home. She likes picking fancy mosque and prestigious fields as we are doing so this year, at the Gasibu field where the Governor will pray. Yes... the reason is because the Governor will be praying there. She likes to look at the people's fashion, people that really dress up for the occasion as she does, seeing TV cameras installed everywhere as if she was part of the shoot itself and just having a merry time. For her, it's extending her knowledge.

I use to despise this act since it was so much of a hassle. Until one day, she told this fact to my friends mother who was lying in the hospital. She told it as it is, and it was funny as plain as it was told. I had to chip in since... I too eventually fall for her seduction to follow her plan and confirm that all of it was true. My friend and her mother had such a stomach ache from laughing. I could see how silliness brought happiness. And that was what my mom did for my friends mother, a few months before she died.

It is my mom that rather ask for my dirty clothes everytime I come home and not ask for say souvenirs or fancy stuff from where ever I've been. It is her that would take singing lessons and really sing in front my dads colleagues for the sake of having an audience not really caring what it would do to my dads reputation. She is also the one that would rather hang out with a TKW (Indonesian slave.... ups!) in Arab so she could see the inside of a rich family's condo (she told me all their doors opened up automaticaly like in a space ship, God bless her!).

I am blessed to have her taste in humor. And it's this silliness that I have discovered many happiness. And little did I know, my Mom always slips her positive attitude in each of her silliness making my life as positive as it is. For that I thank her and I thank God for giving me such a silly Mom :p

PS: She was right you know. Because she loves to pray in fancy mosques, I now know the insides of many mosques that some of my friends don't. Hmff what do you know?

Fan, Fans, and Pineapple

I don't know why people have to go out to have fun. Sometimes the best times are at home... I haven't had the privileged to play around with Sylvia, my mac, thus I did. I thought I would do some pictures ANTM style, complete with a fan and everything... I'm sure Tyra would be proud!

 This is fan speed one

This is fan speed 3

 These are fans :p

And this is being 14 (again)!

I just told ikansapisapi on how there are so little amount of people that are silly lately, especially people in my circle. You know, the kind that would wear panties on their heads, and go out singing on the streets. People that would do stupid but still responsible actions. I miss wackiness and I long for it. It's good crunchy laughs that anyone would enjoy. Why be prestigious looking and cool when you can be silly and happy.

The Muhaha dance.

And I was looking too far. The silly are around me. It's about joining forces and having fun with it. It's my housemates that are definitely looney, it's my indohoy mate, and it's me if I just had enough creativity. And I actually I think I know where it all roots from for me, but I'll tell you in the next post. 

Nggrroookkk

So bored in the office... trying to stay awake.... failed.

I just dozed of a few minutes in my chair. I'm bored. My work is almost complete but needs an OK from the boss. I'm blogging to avoid other snozzing hazzards like an open mouth when sleeping, drooling, and snoring..

It's working, but what happens when I stop blogging? .... zzz...

The pathetic bunch

Tis the month of Ramadhan again, and our social calender is booked!

This year, I've contemplated on the idea of break-fast together as what Moslems in Indonesia mostly do. I've been wondering, why do we do the break-fast together, and why is it such an important event to have a break-fast together with friends in this month, when in fact you can do it on any other day? Some say it's to strengthen human interaction, which is true, and there is more blessing during this month... but I can't understand the fuss of it??? but anyways... I attend this social gathering when I can.

Now, what came to mind is actually what I thought about after I did my break-fast with my high school friends. It was a mini reunion, and only the 5 of us could make it. Another one attended by speaker phone. It's a pathetic reunion by number I admit, but not by quality.

Since I don't hang out with them much, I used the ultimate no no question when meeting old friends or new ones... "what do you do for a living?". I don't like using this question when there is so much more you can ask about... but I was a bit curious. My friends were: an architect that had his own firm, a contractor in BTS and communications, one working in government civil department, and one is a  in business development in oil contractor company, and there was me (but enough of my introduction). The last 2 friends graduated had a masters degree abroad. The one of the phone use to work for a prominent newspaper. 

To my surprise, this mini bunch has reached a state of success. And as I recall, we were a pathetic pile when it came to academics. I cheated on my test (don't tell anyone that :P). I was better at 'techniques of cheating' than what I cheated on. My friends were too. And some are just blind when it came to test and quizzes. I remember exactly, the business development dude, he couldn't do sinch on any test. But now he's developing his bosses business for oil, a very high profile business. The civil development dude was also a disaster in school, but who can deny his scholarship to Russia? Not to mention the one devil I have at home which we went to the same high school.  She struggled at school, but now is holding a prestigious award for script writing.

Seeing where we are, what we do, it's clear to me that we were really lazy and clueless back then. We weren't dumb (or as we hope to believe), we just didn't know how to learn how to digest our knowledge and how to use it. We were better than what we use to be... and thank God for that! I'm glad we even passed high school. Could it be my high school facilitates rejects and slackers in the best way so that we can still survive the last of the teen years? I'm proud to see where my sad pathetic pile of people ended up, I'm proud that most of us can feed ourselves and not become parasites of others... high school was so overrated and not the best years of my life... I'm glad I didn't feed in to it too much because it really wasn't what my life was about :) 

Yaahhh I don't have a picture for this blog :( Sad.

The concubine

Why do people cheat on their husband/wifes? Can't they be grateful to have that somebody that will always be there? Probably that significant other has change or didn't live up to ones expectation, but in the case of a marriage, shouldn't you work it out or just quit it THEN find another person? Why should they be greedy and want it all?

In a few cases, I've been the potential cheating object by married men. I can't say anything about cheating women, but in the case of men... they really like testing out the waters. See how far they can go. And of course, I've never followed any of these leads. For simple reason: I want to get married, and I don't want to say 'payback is a bitch'. Even if I'm head over heals for them. I don't even bother men with girlfriends! The universe has its karma and I refuse to evoke it.

A friend said that men need variety, and I'm supposing that women do to. But is that really a legitimate reason to even flirt around, seeing who bites the bait? What is it they are looking for? And I do believe, cheaters do not realize the cheat.

Still being single (and hopefully not forever), I seriously would not think of cheating. In the case of just getting 'that one I've been long for' is hard enough, I don't think I'll take him for granted. I've been fortune told to have 2 marriages, but I'm praying that it's not because I cheat, if I do get 2 marriages.

It's frustrating to be single, looking for love, and ending up with potential of tainting another. Why can't men just go fuck other people's marriages instead and get the whole chaos working to the fullest, rather than mucking about with innocent souls like mine. Because once single gals that cheat with married men are left... they are left alone (well probably with a kid, ouch!), but other marriages... they still have they're family to come back assuming the cheating was possible...

As strange as this world seem to be, it never cease to always be stranger every day...