Growing?

Sometimes I think I should grow up already. I should start acting like a mature adult. Many have said that I don't, and I should. To the least I should stop sounding like a kid as a default. Maybe people will then take me seriously on the first impression. I'm reminded lately because I realize I'm more comfortable on site because I act as I want. And most of the time is being a kid.

Hmm.. maybe I should. Why start listening to people now? Well, I can't really differ myself if I am a kid on the surface or I really am a kid all the way inside. Acting like a grown up could help me understand if I am grown up inside.  Maybe I'll get hooked once I look sophisticated, charming, and well poised hehehehe... That is what grown men are looking for right?





But, what I fear the most is that once I start, I can never go back. I become paranoid of what is and what is not appropriate, forgetting that it was made from social consensus, and not absolute rightousness. And eventually you can become narrow minded as many mature adults are. I know a few people that are still childish yet are mature adults on necessary grounds. And they are the most open minded people I've met. Shhh... I idolize that part of them secretly. So I'm at some cross roads here.

Hmm... maybe, I'll try it on some days, and leave it on others just to test the waters. Maybe I'll find a new me somewhere. Although I don't think I can change much by now, but maybe I can find something new that is hidden inside. So probably I should start now and stop blogging on office hours since professionalism is said to be a mature trait? :P