I have come to the part of my life where everything is out of control.
It all started from when I wanted to attend a very good friends wedding. There is only a slim, as slim as paper, chance that I can make it now. There's a storm in the area. And I can't book my own boat to sail out for the sake of this occasion for whatever price it may be. The people that usually would risk lives wouldn't even go and they too have already surrendered to what nature wants.
Jodoh, or soul mate, or THE ONE, is still missing. Although people say I don't try. I do. I dress up, I meet new people, I try to be charming. It's not working. After seeing so many chick flicks on my Sylvia screen, I've come to a point that I give up. And I really can't force myself to somebody. I just can't, and you can see it instantly in my gesture if I'm not interested. I don't know how to force anyone to be my guy. Even if I do, eventually I'm sure he wouldn't like my white lie or me for that matter.
I've been paying a mortgage of a small flat in Jakarta. My very first huge investment. It's finished and now it's under a bit of decoration. All which I didn't decide upon. My parents did. Since they're helping me on the payment terms, it's going to be our family house in Jakarta. So what they say on the decor is final. My dad even got mad at me just because I wanted to change one of my walls in to plain dark gray and not with patterns. Even I can't control the inside of my own house.
I had a stressful day yesterday. Literally... eh I mean physically. My body showed symptoms of a stressed person. My acid levels were high, my lower chest was burning, I had diarrhea, and the fever, all in a day. I knew it was stress and not some illness because I knew I had something in mind. My friends wedding, and how this company sucks at the moment, no taking care of me, it’s employee. I surely didn’t think about it too much since I’ve learned how to accept the circumstances of Wetar. However, my body is trying to tell the truth. I can’t control my body.
So basically I have no control of the essentials of my life at the moment. Usually the case would be that I won’t take control of my life because I don’t want to and I’ll let things flow. But just when I wanted … I couldn’t. Ain’t life a big Srimulat stage? Slapstickly funny!
I've had this thought for some time and most of the people around me know about it already since I've repeated it over and over. But it's pure genius I tell you! A perfect blend of the west and east culture, in the harmony of something so essential to us all... I'm talking about the flushable squatting toilet with hand pump and toilet paper (this applies better on public toilets).
For a girl, this toilet is the ultimate invention! I'm surprised that no one has ever noticed it before! Think about it!
The Sitting Toilet
The western world has always found a comfortable position for any daily activity, even taking a crap. You sit and read a paper without the fear of falling of the toilet or your foot slipping its grip. You can even sleep on it! And let's not forget the comfortable position to throw up once you're drunk like a liquor store or when you're on the way on molding a new human being in your stomach. And you don't have to look at your shit, the plumpy mold of digestion remains!
The flushing is heaven sent! It's like someone else is doing it for you. It's service in a button, easy by one touch.
But have you notice how there's a big concern about the hygiene of butts taking turns sitting on a plastic circle? Suddenly we have to wipe the toilet seat with special soap or wipes, or we have to lay a layer of special paper shaped like the seat before actually sitting on it. A waste of paper! May I add that there is so much surface of the toilet that needs cleaning?
And the deal with toilet paper.... it's a waste of paper and trees and forests and resources and climate change! Need I continue? Please don't make me.
And it's confusing to eastern people once they step in to a cubicle. What is there to do when you only have a toilet, a piece of tissue, and no water and soap? A thought I had when I had to crap in elementary school. So I crapped in my pants staring at the toilet cause I seriously didn't know what to do.
The Squatting Toilet
The eastern lands love to squad, not only on their toilets, but in their daily lives. In middle to lower class Indonesian, a lot of activity is done by squatting like washing the clothes and dishes, cooking, putting tiles on floor, and even high school kids coming home from school hang out by squatting beside their school roads. So we do a lot of it. When it comes to the toilet, we even enjoy the position. It brings some relief to disposing crap. It is clinically known that the squatting position is actually healthier than sitting down. There is less abdominal effort reducing the risk of hemorrhoids. Seriously! You don't have to push as hard when you're squatting.
Although looking at your own crap is a devils doing for some, it's actually necessary at times. The condition of your feces can indicate the condition of your bowls. If theirs clotted blood, that means there's something wrong inside your digestive system. If it's runny blood, it's a wound near the anus. If it's too dark you need fiber, etc.
And I'm gonna be blunt here, if you've got leftovers of your event... that's just nasty to wash! But on normal days, washing with water is refreshing. I read Stans link and I agree, in such a tropical country washing up with water is essential since bacterial can develop easily. The water hand pump is a super blessing and helps us achieve a dry toilet which is a lot more hygiene. Besides being refreshing, I feel it's a lot cleaner. It's a culture thing, JES!
But the squatting toilet can be annoying sometimes. Peeing can be splashy! Reducing the distance from the loo to your butt actually increases impact... Iuu.... but only happens if you're careless. And if it's one of those long sessions, you cramps in your legs rather than the relief that you're looking for.
Once you had a bad few days, and haven't crapped, you can get pretty extraordinary in size, and that's a pain when you have to flush yourself. I've even had to have some tactics to get the bugger down, such as pouring a whole bucket at once, or fast repetitive flushing, or wait a few minutes so the poop can soften because it's soaked in water huahahahaha... I crack myself remembering a lot of the effort I have to do just to get rid of my crap.
Now comes the best part, the combined western and eastern toilet.
The Flushable Squading Toilet (Equiped with toilet paper and water hand pump)
Take the best of both culture and mix it. And there is is. Making it short:
- you worry less about diseases transmitted from toilet seats
- you clean less much area on a squading toilet
- you see your crap for a good reason
- you push less and wont' worsen your hemroid
- you can flush afterwards
- you can wash up
- and dry the damp area with a bit of tissue
Perfect! Now why can't other gadgets be as genius as this? Why can't the east and west work together?
I was procrastinating hard on work today, it's the Chinese New Year and I'm celebrating by doing less work than the minimum that I do anyways. But I did more research for www.indohoy.com today which is still a good thing. Time wasn't wasted.
I stumbled on this blog while reading for indohoy. As I was reading about the oddities of toilet paper in Bangkok, I suddenly realize this:
Well call me the oddities of Asia on this tree pulp product! I use this supply for my morning sneezes, wiping the analysis probe when measuring pH, and for my usual dose of 'toilet paper functions' khihihihihi....
Me and my friend were stranded in the woods of Wetar one day, waiting for help since our car had a flat tire but had no equipment to change it. There was nothing to do, too much has been said, and a nap is all that is left undone. So as I tried to daze off in the passengers seat, I looked up in to the trees and stroke the fresh cool air I saw my bracelet. Click!
This is my Cambodia bracelet. I got it when I was visited Angkor Wat last year. It was tied on to me by a holy man of the temple complex. It’s a bind of prayer after I got my fortuned told. There should be no worries in my fortune, he says, and his prayers were to assure that.
It’s not a Moslem teaching to believe in fortune telling especially from another religion but for some reason, I kept that bracelet on till today. I believed its prayer, a prayer that will help me into a good life.
But there was a time, exactly a year after this bracelet was bind on to me, I wanted to cut it off. I had a low point in my own believes and I though that getting rid of this item would further me of what I didn’t believe in, hoping it would make me closer to what I did believe in. I almost cut it off. But I didn’t.
I came back to the point where I believe all prayers are good, no matter what religion we’re from. I believe it as I believe that a good deed is a good deed no matter what who did it, from whatever religion, or from those with no religion also.And a little red band would not define what I believe in.
Now, I keep the bracelet for 2 reasons: as a reminder that I’ve been to Angkor Wat, and as a reminder that I should not symbolize things in totems. Hmm a totem reminding of what totems should not be. Sounds pretty twisted hey?
They say the best things in life are free. Most of the time, it’s true. Things that you can’t value with money are usually the things that fulfill your life. Happiness, love, joy, experience, and even knowledge is priceless when it really teaches you some thing (Do note I didn’t say education).
And anyways, how could you debate a great thing that doesn’t come with a price? Hello??? Freebies…
But when the free stuffs are out, the cheap come second best. Items that you pay less but have priceless value, can exceed any item that is expensive but has ultimate function. This time, I realized, my Ando white sandals are my cheap best thing. It’s been with me a while and it still is till today, where I had to walk the rocky mountain of Lerokis. I realize that it has been with me through so many other hardship.
The tar was from climbing from an LCT to the wooden boat getting to Wetar. And I was so grateful I was wearing these sandals because if I had worn good shoes, they’ll be damaged for sure. The concave are is wear I put my weight in while walking. It’s been like this ever since I started jogging, a change to the usually worn out heel area. They I’ve had them for… hmmm… 4 months at least. And they haven’t let me down yet.
I’ve had other things that are damn cheap but I love so dearly: my torn t-shirts which everybody is bound to have but not all would admit to, my old cotton underwear I keep which I swear I use only under emergency situations, and my pride… which is relatively cheap but the best thing in my life :P
So this entry is the celebration of the pay-less world, an underground world for those that seriously know the great value of a cheap item. Let it be known, that China made items rule!
I've been thinking about guys and girls lately when it comes to relationships. It's nothing new... just enhanced in my mind I guess.
I've been wronged by a guy before. And I'm sure I'm not alone on this. You could see that through my small single or still unmarried clique of girlfriends. I’m not saying that we’re broken angels, we probably did some wrong doing too, but the fact that we aren’t hooked yet might be an indication that we could also be the victims too.
Hanging out with the boys definitely balances my perspective. I’ve been in the mining business for some time and have mingled with boys most of my life, causing me to crossed over to see the other side of things. When it comes to relationships, there is no doubt that men take things lightly. I’m not saying all men are like that, but on this side of the story, most are. No matter how angelic they are at home. If you don’t get caught then they'll underestimate what they have with their spouse. They like new and shiny things. If something is blinking, let say a cute little shawty that just entered the circle, believe me, they would want to have it.
But, it’s balanced. It’s not rare that I’ve heard a guy being wronged by a girl. And harsh! I know guys often feel aggravated, hanging on a thread waiting for a response from his adored one, but girls have it the same. I’m talking on a whole different league. We’re talking about men, left by their wives for other men and could be various, and having it as a public secret. It is men with their paychecks robed, stripped down broke for the sake of shopping while the partners don’t take care of the house, or kids or the women just ran away with it without guilt. It is men separated from their children. I’ve seen it. Women having the time of their lives, walking on air because they know they can sell sex and can get away with anything with their beauty and whisper pleasure. It’s with cases like these I cross over and say, women too are no doubt devils.
I didn’t quite understand why sometimes I’m so bothered when women say men are such pigs.Women insult and put them down in various conversation. Now I know. Turns out, deep down I knew differently.
I felt like blogging today. I felt like blogging yesterday. And I felt blogging a month ago. But I never did... until today... when I felt like blogging.
I had a lot on my mind that needed said but... I just didn't have that extra umph to write it down. It's like picking out a cool dress or shoes but it just lacks that 'to buy or regret buying it for a long time' factor. But I had that umph today.
I love to do nothing. And in between I love to watch TV. I don't know why people resent TV so much when you can learn so much and get inspired. I watched 2 things today that lifted my ass to at least blog.
'So You Think You Can Dance'. I'm not sure what season it was. Cat Deely had short hair. Does that help? Anyways... I caught the last dance. It was a couples dance, with Wade Robinson choreographing. I tip my hat after my standing ovation after watching this routine. Wade made a routine with the theme of thieves in Paris and using Jazz dance style. It was so close to original being they were really like thieves and the whole routine tells about their mission to steal some jewels. It was really entertaining and beautiful at the same time. Every move was about stealing and sneaking and jazz dance. And not to forget, the music was so cool! It was flawless. And the dancers executed well. Technically and expression wise. I had goose bumps all over myself. I'm sure there are a lot more inspiring routines but I just got hooked on this one. And what really enlightens me about this routine is that it used something that is uncommon. Salsa, Tango, Ballroom, etc dances are commonly modified but this is a stroy modified in to a dance... I'm just having such a hard time explaining what I mean here. Huff...
Something worth sharing... and I don't kow how to embed things yet so:
The other thing I watched was NatGeo Adventure channel. I flipped to it accidentally this time. It was showing Video Travel: Ethiopia. It's typical NatGeo Adv show with this couple traveling and having a video blog. The couple was traveling to Lilabela or something like it. They were going through this church that was carved downwards in to a rock. It was an amazing structure and I really want to see it! They only had pocket camera making feel the sufficiency of the Canon D10 that I have to a world class travel. It really is about the man behind the gun. Skill, instincts and feeling are almost every thing!
They did the traveling and had each other as good company making the whole episode an alluring adventure. I'm sure if anyone went there with a narrow mind, would think it was a boring place, just another ruin. But what they saw, what they felt, what pictures they took of was far from what I consider boring. I was inspired.
I was doing a bit of work at the time, but I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. They wrote everything they were thinking and they were great with words. It reminded me why I wanted to travel, what I wanted to experience and why I still should do it. It also inspired me to write everything on the road may be on a piece of tissue and such. I should have done it since when ever but it's never too late, since I plan to do more traveling khihihihi...
So I was inspired by television today. And I think I should have a radio show :)
