It’s been a while since I’ve blog. I’ve been avoiding it since I didn’t know how to write about this specific topic although I eventually had to. But now, I’m ready.
So, not only blogging, it’s also been a while since I’ve slept in my own bed in Bandung. I’ve been sleeping my parent’s bed. Not because I want to cramp up my parents at an inappropriate age. It’s because my father died about 2 months ago, and I’ve been keeping my mum company in their bed.
My father is the nicest man in the world. He died while taking an afternoon nap at home, alone. Mum just stepped out to do her usual exercise and came home to find dad gone still in bed. No fuss, no diseases, no hospitals, no nothing. He just stepped out. I so wished that he didn’t go alone, but that’s just how nice he is. And knowing him, that’s how he wanted it. He never wanted to hassle anyone.
I’ve learned so much from the death of my father. That probably sounds weird since I should be devastated and crushed and yada yada yada, but it’s the truth. Of course, it broke my heart that my father is no longer around. Home is different without his presence. It’s the little things that remind me that he no longer is around. His pants are no longer hang behind the master bedroom door, there is no cup on the coffee table in the afternoon, the study desk isn’t a mess by his notes and scattered newspaper, and so many other little things that justifies he’s no longer here. But I’ve learned more than I lost.
I learned that community living is such a great thing compared to the individual life. I’ve learned that I was more prepared than I thought I would be. I’ve learned that my mother is an unbelievable woman who is far stronger than I am, no matter how solid I look. I’ve learned that the amount of people that come to your funeral and what they say reflects what kind of person you really are. I also learned more about my father from the people that send their condolences. Just a short list to the many other things I discovered out of this event. I’m sure I’ll blog them one by one in the future, just not today. So, I’m a kid without a father, and that’s what it’s gonna be. And this entry is a ‘just saying’ blog. Oh well…
And guess what? He checked out on a Saturday night, just as my grandfather did not long ago. I’m sure there’s a social thing going on here :P