Happy Hands and Feet

Twas the 30th of October 2009,
and a big was about to happen that night.
After work through the dreaded jam,
between the hustle bustle and screwed up things,
ambiance wasn't what was to seek,
but the act of Slank and the Ting Tings.

A little yucky poem to open up my entry about dancing.
There I was, ready to watch one of the best new artist around... The Ting Tings. A bonus, I might add, was the Slank charity concert before it. I've never watched them live before. There is no doubt in my mind, SLANK CURRENTLY IS THE BEST BAND IN INDONESIA!!! Their music is HOT and so is their performance, no matter how much false teeth they have all together hehehehe...


Anyways... standing at the tribune, all piled up somewhere near the stairs, me and my friends (Vira and Leci) awaits these new comers. I was really curious if they were 2 people and whether thet had additional players...They didn't. Seeing them rock (yes, I think they rock in the lifestyle definition even) on stage, kinda made me imagine where they came from. I bet you they started somewhere in the basement or garage and had this musical vision that no one else shared. They struggled from bar to bar or online until one day a producer discovered them. I guess they usually hang out with their usual friends, people like you and me, and how their friends always support them through every gig. They would be just slightly odd compared to their compadres, but it's so subtle that you would notice until you talk to them. And in parties and gigs, they would be dancing!

Photo courtesy of Vira

By the time they started the 3rd song, the area around me started to loosen. I think the girl besides me felt so annoyed by my ridiculous over the top dancing (compared to most Indonesians) and my super screams in her ear. I can tell because every time I did something, she would smirk at me and say something to her friend... ah well, more room for me :D! So once these (I think) high school girls ran away from me... all hell break loose! Now again, I'm 29 and proud to say so, and I'm dancing like a 13 year old. Why?

1. I LOVE DANCING!!! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!!!
2. There's room
3. Concerts are celebration of music
4. It's high appreciation towards the performer (and appropriate for this particular performer to be exact)
5. The lights are dim and I probably don't know these people anyways...

Now here comes my point. I have concluded that I am disappointed in the Jakarta crowd when it comes to enjoying music. I come from Bandung, a city that is drowned by music appreciators, and I can only say that Jakarta's crowd is not as enthusiast as the Bandung scene. Bandung people dance! Now I don't know if Jakarta people don't know how to move, or they didn't know much about the band, or they think their outfit, their age, or their prestige is too precious, but the gestures seems to be too homogenize for a city with such diverse people.

As people that claim to be highly educated, too bad they've never learned anything about performing. When performing, it's thrilling when you know your audience is enjoying your act and showing it. It could be in various gestures: applause, standing ovation, head banging, toe tapping, or like me, dancing way crazy. To make things shorted, I believe the Ting Tings would love to see their crowd dance. How would I know? BECAUSE THEY CONSTANTLY ASKS US TOO. And for that, and point numero uno, I did! I don't know what y'all elite people think about it but this is my appreciation towards this struggling band. Even Katie (the girl) constantly moved through her songs, and she never ever ever stopped. Unlike some of us that was too proud.

Keep up, falling, these heels they keep me boring
Getting glammed up and sitting on the fence no
-That's not my name, The Ting Tings-

It sad to think that the Ting Tings had to perform infront of an uptight corporate socialite crowd, and it's ironic that their lyrics actually critique their audience. 3/4 way of the show people around us started to dance. Yes, better late than never, but too bad because I think they missed out on a great opportunity to be foolish without being misplaced. I heart the Ting Tings. Please come back soon!!

I did peek in to the act of Tortured Soul. A loungy kinda sound. And some people were dancing... wait... they were foreigners and drunks... ah well better drunk that concious then hehehehe...

In the end, I will always choose to dance, no matter if I'm 29, 37, or 53 and dancing with my grandchildren (amin). Let it be in concerts, in my car, on site at a dodgy karaoke bar, with my friends, or just alone at home. Although I'm not that looney to dance in the streets alone, I'm not afraid to bob around to the music from my earphone.

But wait.... there is something that I realize while waving my hands around up in the air. I realize that my future boyfriend or husband hopefuly has a great appreciation towards music, thus to my dancing. Or he at least understands my point of view. He doesn't have to move like me but I hope he shows some appreciation towards the performer. And I will always understand whatever his choice of gesture may be, for at least he has the guts to stand beside me :D

Growth over night

I never knew how grown up I am.


I was on a trip one weekend and suddenly I see myself differently in the pictures taken. It was taken by a super cool camera, the kind that gives you sharp results. I saw that my face was no longer carefree no matter how hard I try. I was just older. Never thought that that day came... the day I admit that I'm older. Age is no longer just a change of number, it's droop of acceptance in my eye lids.

As I see myself, I see time, patience, acceptance, selfishness, tiredness, boredom, maturity, disturbance, ignorance, care, ... choices and choosing, consequences and plans and everything all mixed up.

Not trying to drag my friends down with me but, I can see that they have aged with me too. We've been friends for 10 years now, and our faces have definitely changed. Not all show the same change, it’s one way or the other.

And I’ve also come to realize this seeing other friends now. People that I see daily or even rarely. I thought it was a change only to those living in Jakarta. You know? …because of the stress. That’s not the case it seems. All of my friends have different faces now. We have all evolved.

So, I should be able to define old since I have defined it in myself and my friends (according to me that is). Being older I think is about experience and choices and how you face and deal with it. If I see myself as older now, that would probably mean that I have admitted to having more experience and I now am less ignorant of the implications it has to my life, I'm affected by it. Maybe I should consider it as mature, but honestly it’s something different. I see an older version of my face. But so be it. I’m older now. And hopefully I will grow old gracefully.

Too add to that, it’s been a while since we had a trip like this. Went to the gate of Gede-Pangrango National Park and crashed in the volunteer office there. A small bamboo weaved house with wooden floors. We came in about 12 am in the cold dark night, and just chit chat away then slowly snoozing to bed. Waking up to a fresh morning air, peed and brushed out teeth with super cold water (I didn’t mention bath hey? In defense, we were in a hurry), and with blasted dangdut music from the distance park. It was a deep sleep, even though it was on the floor, that I don’t really experience a lot in Jakarta. Then headed home caught in the open-closed gate system of Puncak. It ended in Naynay’s (Ninins niece) 3rd birthday party with some singing and dancing. All and all it was a night and day that wasn’t planned, required a lot of energy, but resulted in a really great weekend. It’s been a while since we did this, and I’m glad we did! For no matter how old we were, turns out we’re still not too old for the surprise of uncertain circumstances.

In the name of love for Indonesia's creation

Wore my Batik scarf as an obi.
My batik was from Pekalongan. The pattern was a modification of 'tambalan' pattern.
Still trying to be, as my friend Tari would put it, an 'eccentric wannabe'. Refuse to be the same as everyone hehehehe...
Almost everyone who I assume has internet access, wore Batik today. Plus those who are obliged to wear them (schools, offices, etc).

Does it really have to take another nation (Malaysia) to remind how precious our culture is? I heart this nation and all it's creation.

HAPPY BATIK DAY!

Will there ever be a happy Makassar weaving cloth day? (I wan't my root cultured creation to be loved by the whole country too)

I forgivr blogger.com

WTF? Why can't I publish my last blog? What's goin on? I put a lot of thought in to it and now I can't publish it. Ohgggrr... Good thing it's Idul Fitri... I forgive you blogger.com Huaaaaaaa :((

Feeling a little ambitiousless...

I think I dropped my edge somewhere... I seem to have lost it. I can feel how very much stable my life is and how it is becoming (again) fulfilled with superficial wanting. I think I have given up to the established world since I can just live through it without any substantial problems. Not that I want any, but I do miss some rush. I also miss ambitions, and as Sally analyzes it, the lack of any is caused by my steady life at the moment. There is nothing to fight for, or to be exact nothing that I want to fight for.

Yeah I have a job to do, but is so so at the moment. Yeah I’m still mad at countless issues and antics of the world, but I've failed to have a strong argument and vast outlook, thus succeeding in having such a narrow mind. Am I claiming to have an open mind in the past? Not necessarily, I would like to at least say I try to be. I think, this use to be one of my edges, being able to see another side of things than others.

I don’t appreciate too much music anymore, nor movies, nor books, nor news. I’ve become ignorant and lazy. I have forgotten how much money I wanted to access so many resources in the past. I’m trying to remember what I wanted while I was in college. Hmmff… I can't really figure out what to do with my money now other than to buy superficial things that does not better myself (well maybe better myself a bit, but physically), my spirituality, moreover the world. I think, when people reach this stage, the back door is to just donate money without actually thinking about a better solution or to think of the consequences of such donation?

One symptom that I realize of this loss is that I don't have anything to browse about. I have less curiosity. A whole world is at the tip of my fingers but I have nothing to seek. Even the effortless Facebook can’t help me here,… 5 minutes is enough. Isn't that just pathetic?

Why do I need an edge anyways? The edge makes me feel better. To some extent, it can also make me a selfish pig. But it’s this edge that I find satisfying answers which I can make peace to myself. And although many definitely wouldn’t consider it an edge… it’s definitely much ‘sharper’ than this bland state I’m in.

Have I become that person, who just works without a dream or ambition even for the next day? So established that there is nothing else to seek and that the world is a better place to live in (well it is anyways as I believe). I've seen so many examples around me so I guess it's a phase in life. But seeing the examples there is... some have failed to step out of it. Hiiiiiii... now that's scary... I hope I can get out of mine soon... I gotta find an ambition...

But I can tell you this, after 10 minutes of trying to remember one ambition, I finally found it. I envy those oriental parts of the world having boybands, making the local girls crazy about the native skin… and the biggest boyband to date… SUPER JUNIOR with 13 personals. Love their single and video "Sorry Sorry Sorry". Why can’t we make one? I still am a bit ambitious… may I even say obsessed to make a successful Indonesian boyband :D (now how would I do that?)

The different kind

I don't see myself as photogenic. I don't really see me as cute, pretty or beautiful in pictures even if I try. Sometimes I get good pics, most of the time not as hoped, ah well... So most of the time I make faces, because there is no point of making the same faces in each picture anyways... you don't see the ambiance of the moment.



But I do like the girl I see everyday in the mirror. Not so in the morning, because for some reason my eyes can't seem to have that morning freshness. I definitely am a nocturnal being. Coming back to what I was saying... no matter how ugly I make faces in the mirror, I like what I see. Thank God, I can accept it and I'm very happy with what I got. Yeah there are the occasional zits, sun burns, and bad hair days, but overall that don't bother me THAT much.

Now working in the east part of Indonesia shows me much about what beauty is about. You really see different characters of faces, and what people try to look like. The east Indonesia is dominated by Melanesian African looks. And for these people, they were born like this, and they can't help them selves. So very different especially with the west of Indonesia being more melanesian oriental look. Sometimes honestly, I see them as ugly, and pity comes in. And at these moments I ask my self why do I think they're ugly and why do I pity them? It's not like they have a choice to be born as such. What would I want them to look like? Pleasant looking? What's that? .... desperate need of a reality check here!!!






From top to bottom: Benzelina and her mom, a little local girl, Maskur, wife of Paa, Charles, Amas and Carlos. Amas and Maskur are siblings. Aren't they so good looking? ;P

Lately, after seeing so many eastern friends, due to the festive nature of our upcoming Independence day, I realize that I can't see them as ugly; and I musn't. Looking closer, I could see how good looking these people are. The girls are exotic and the guys are handsomely raw. Just different. I can see that with the characteristics they have, they can be beautiful as hell in their own way.
I remember when I was in Sydney. Looking at so much Caucasians made me realize, there is no way Indonesian beauty or what ever that maybe, can be compared to Caucasian beauty. They are just made to be delicate! Light skin, blue/green eyes, with features that you just can't beat. And most of them are just good looking even though if they are considerate as moderate. I've come to realize that I too was consumed by western beauty as a standard. And that pageants are just absurd when it comes to comparing beauty standard... hence Miss Indonesia that can not speak Indonesia nor does she know much about Indonesia *sigh*.

This is where globalization becomes very scary. People just wanna be beautiful with different understanding, I dare not say miss for who am I to judge what is missed and what is not. There are countless locals with bonded hair, facial power 3 tones lighter than their skin tone, which is a no no, and fashion worn that does not flatter their body shapes. But it's their choice, I respect that. I just hoped there will be more awareness towards this. I guess the Caucasian beauty rules the urban world at the moment, but hopefully there will come a time where all beauty is appreciated as the Benetton add. We are just different! To this I salute Benetton.



I also realize another point of what traveling is all about. It's seeing more things, understand how mailable the world is. I don't know if we should have more tolerance or not?! But we should have more respect for different conditions and different decisions that people make. Without traveling and seeing these difference, we become more narrow minded. And I advice anyone to just take a step to a direction that you have never have before.

But of course, some have their own 'personal standards' which they tend to keep hehehe... HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!



PS: on this note I would like to salute to Gelar, my friend here hired to teach English and reading. He has seen more since he is amongst the locals. He speaks their language and understands a their jokes. And he definitely understands the people more no matter what his personal opinion is towards them.

When you're really creative...

Me and Aji was just sitting around the house one night and he happen to have a great idea... What if phones was the shape of a mini rice cooker? Wouldn't that be sooo cute? Don't believe me?


This is when you receive a phone call.















This is when you receive a confusing call.

















This is SMSing with a huge screen. Even people can peek from behind.
















This is what other phones can't do at the moment... isolate your confidential conversations.


















Of course it has to look stylish to the mall. How can anything be any cuter than this (the phone I mean, no comments on Aji please)?















Then there is the taking a picture pose...

















And there is the hands free look.

Ok it's not practical to bring I admit, but since when is fashion practical???