Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Good, The Bad, The Nothing

Some people consider being bad is easy. Just break the rules, don't follow any of them. And especially when you're high or drunk, then... it comes naturally. But it's also hard to be bad. Try being the bad guy in a situation that needs one. Rarely does one step up. And at these times, the people that do are the bad guys or actually doing the right thing. Or even try to break rules when you're basically a good person. It takes guts to break rules when you know that it would damage property, create loss, and even conflict danger to other beings. Especially when you have aged in your life and is presumably... wiser. But too much has been said about being bad anyways... so I'll skip it.
So is being good any easier? I think there is a misunderstanding about being good. Of course the term 'good' is relative but I'm not debating about it. The misunderstanding, I personally think is from either being good or doing nothing at all. Many of us tend to staple the 'good guys' to those that live their lives and not getting in to trouble; living live as it should be. While I think that this is the case of doing nothing. While being good is actually trying to be a saint. Helping people, saying thank you and please, no to be rude or impolite, of course to my own standard. So what are you? Or tp be more precise, what am I?
Take for instance when you see an accident happen and you just stair and watch. You're not laughing at the victims which could be relatively bad, but your not helping the victim at all being relatively good. You just watch... and see... and twit or change the status of you social network... and then tell someone. This is the case of doing nothing. Your neither good or bad.
Being nothing really depends on what your term of being good or bad is. If your default is being bad, then nothing is good. But if your default is good then nothing is bad.
I admit to be more of the doing nothing kinda person. I'm not good... I'm abstain. If I want to claim to be good, I should do good. If not that I should be bad. But not nothing, considering nothing is floating away.
In the case where people have a more colorful life, it's either being good or bad, and never nothing. I will not judge whomever has read this, even though I have made a verdict to which is good or bad or nothing. I'm applying this to myself as a reminder of what I want to be....
Why did I ever have this thought? I was reminded by a conversation I had with a new friend. It was spiritual and philosophical in mid day. Miss timing but valid. And I came to the 'wonders of mine' being... why am not that afraid of death? Am I a self righteous person thinking I've done good? Or am I bad having lost faith and fake believe that there is a consequence to my life on earth? This still remains a wonder since tendency is still on both side... I'll save that for later. 

Monday, September 20, 2010

In the Sahara

I'm so bored and down. I'm bored of work and really bad at it at the moment. My life is unplanned. My love life suck. My life is bland.

I don't know what I want now, and that is the most dangerous thing in life.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Source of Silliness and Happiness

As I have mentioned before, I like silly things. I like weird, absurd, mind boggling things too, but silly makes me laugh and let me quote King Julian in Madagascar 2, 'I like laughing'.

It makes me wonder why I have such liking to the silly? I was reminded when I was gathering with old and new friends. It is at my age or so that people like to look smart or, I'm sure, are really smarter than me. They can joke between the politically correct and incorrect. And as I sit amongst them... I was a bit bored. Maybe the jokes was internal, maybe it was plain not funny, I'm sure it's because I'm not smart enough, but I kinda turned my interest to the other interesting things around me. It is then I realize I rather see someone put a Date (the fruit) up their nose and be silly and improvise on that rather than word play with facts of life. Well I like having half and half of everything. You can't expect me to keep up with  smart all the time, can you?

Then I wonder, why do I always want to be 14 when I'm clearly 30? Why do I always look for silliness? And when you're looking for an explanation for something in your life, the easiest answer would be... blame the parents hahahahaha...

My mother is the silly one actually. She loves to laugh and do things her way even though she knows it's silly. She admitted to me once that sometimes she does it on purpose just to make the ambiance a lot lighter and happier. It is this month (Ramadhan) that reminded me also of her silliness. It is on Idul Fitri where one of her antics just shakes my head. She loves to pray Ied at different locations. It just has to be not at home an she doesn't mind the distance (sigh!). For this purpose, she would leave my dad and brother (she takes me of course) to pray at home. She likes picking fancy mosque and prestigious fields as we are doing so this year, at the Gasibu field where the Governor will pray. Yes... the reason is because the Governor will be praying there. She likes to look at the people's fashion, people that really dress up for the occasion as she does, seeing TV cameras installed everywhere as if she was part of the shoot itself and just having a merry time. For her, it's extending her knowledge.

I use to despise this act since it was so much of a hassle. Until one day, she told this fact to my friends mother who was lying in the hospital. She told it as it is, and it was funny as plain as it was told. I had to chip in since... I too eventually fall for her seduction to follow her plan and confirm that all of it was true. My friend and her mother had such a stomach ache from laughing. I could see how silliness brought happiness. And that was what my mom did for my friends mother, a few months before she died.

It is my mom that rather ask for my dirty clothes everytime I come home and not ask for say souvenirs or fancy stuff from where ever I've been. It is her that would take singing lessons and really sing in front my dads colleagues for the sake of having an audience not really caring what it would do to my dads reputation. She is also the one that would rather hang out with a TKW (Indonesian slave.... ups!) in Arab so she could see the inside of a rich family's condo (she told me all their doors opened up automaticaly like in a space ship, God bless her!).

I am blessed to have her taste in humor. And it's this silliness that I have discovered many happiness. And little did I know, my Mom always slips her positive attitude in each of her silliness making my life as positive as it is. For that I thank her and I thank God for giving me such a silly Mom :p

PS: She was right you know. Because she loves to pray in fancy mosques, I now know the insides of many mosques that some of my friends don't. Hmff what do you know?