I have come to the part of my life where everything is out of control.
It all started from when I wanted to attend a very good friends wedding. There is only a slim, as slim as paper, chance that I can make it now. There's a storm in the area. And I can't book my own boat to sail out for the sake of this occasion for whatever price it may be. The people that usually would risk lives wouldn't even go and they too have already surrendered to what nature wants.
Jodoh, or soul mate, or THE ONE, is still missing. Although people say I don't try. I do. I dress up, I meet new people, I try to be charming. It's not working. After seeing so many chick flicks on my Sylvia screen, I've come to a point that I give up. And I really can't force myself to somebody. I just can't, and you can see it instantly in my gesture if I'm not interested. I don't know how to force anyone to be my guy. Even if I do, eventually I'm sure he wouldn't like my white lie or me for that matter.
I've been paying a mortgage of a small flat in Jakarta. My very first huge investment. It's finished and now it's under a bit of decoration. All which I didn't decide upon. My parents did. Since they're helping me on the payment terms, it's going to be our family house in Jakarta. So what they say on the decor is final. My dad even got mad at me just because I wanted to change one of my walls in to plain dark gray and not with patterns. Even I can't control the inside of my own house.
I had a stressful day yesterday. Literally... eh I mean physically. My body showed symptoms of a stressed person. My acid levels were high, my lower chest was burning, I had diarrhea, and the fever, all in a day. I knew it was stress and not some illness because I knew I had something in mind. My friends wedding, and how this company sucks at the moment, no taking care of me, it’s employee. I surely didn’t think about it too much since I’ve learned how to accept the circumstances of Wetar. However, my body is trying to tell the truth. I can’t control my body.
So basically I have no control of the essentials of my life at the moment. Usually the case would be that I won’t take control of my life because I don’t want to and I’ll let things flow. But just when I wanted … I couldn’t. Ain’t life a big Srimulat stage? Slapstickly funny!
I've had this thought for some time and most of the people around me know about it already since I've repeated it over and over. But it's pure genius I tell you! A perfect blend of the west and east culture, in the harmony of something so essential to us all... I'm talking about the flushable squatting toilet with hand pump and toilet paper (this applies better on public toilets).
For a girl, this toilet is the ultimate invention! I'm surprised that no one has ever noticed it before! Think about it!
The Sitting Toilet
The western world has always found a comfortable position for any daily activity, even taking a crap. You sit and read a paper without the fear of falling of the toilet or your foot slipping its grip. You can even sleep on it! And let's not forget the comfortable position to throw up once you're drunk like a liquor store or when you're on the way on molding a new human being in your stomach. And you don't have to look at your shit, the plumpy mold of digestion remains!
The flushing is heaven sent! It's like someone else is doing it for you. It's service in a button, easy by one touch.
But have you notice how there's a big concern about the hygiene of butts taking turns sitting on a plastic circle? Suddenly we have to wipe the toilet seat with special soap or wipes, or we have to lay a layer of special paper shaped like the seat before actually sitting on it. A waste of paper! May I add that there is so much surface of the toilet that needs cleaning?
And the deal with toilet paper.... it's a waste of paper and trees and forests and resources and climate change! Need I continue? Please don't make me.
And it's confusing to eastern people once they step in to a cubicle. What is there to do when you only have a toilet, a piece of tissue, and no water and soap? A thought I had when I had to crap in elementary school. So I crapped in my pants staring at the toilet cause I seriously didn't know what to do.
The Squatting Toilet
The eastern lands love to squad, not only on their toilets, but in their daily lives. In middle to lower class Indonesian, a lot of activity is done by squatting like washing the clothes and dishes, cooking, putting tiles on floor, and even high school kids coming home from school hang out by squatting beside their school roads. So we do a lot of it. When it comes to the toilet, we even enjoy the position. It brings some relief to disposing crap. It is clinically known that the squatting position is actually healthier than sitting down. There is less abdominal effort reducing the risk of hemorrhoids. Seriously! You don't have to push as hard when you're squatting.
Although looking at your own crap is a devils doing for some, it's actually necessary at times. The condition of your feces can indicate the condition of your bowls. If theirs clotted blood, that means there's something wrong inside your digestive system. If it's runny blood, it's a wound near the anus. If it's too dark you need fiber, etc.
And I'm gonna be blunt here, if you've got leftovers of your event... that's just nasty to wash! But on normal days, washing with water is refreshing. I read Stans link and I agree, in such a tropical country washing up with water is essential since bacterial can develop easily. The water hand pump is a super blessing and helps us achieve a dry toilet which is a lot more hygiene. Besides being refreshing, I feel it's a lot cleaner. It's a culture thing, JES!
But the squatting toilet can be annoying sometimes. Peeing can be splashy! Reducing the distance from the loo to your butt actually increases impact... Iuu.... but only happens if you're careless. And if it's one of those long sessions, you cramps in your legs rather than the relief that you're looking for.
Once you had a bad few days, and haven't crapped, you can get pretty extraordinary in size, and that's a pain when you have to flush yourself. I've even had to have some tactics to get the bugger down, such as pouring a whole bucket at once, or fast repetitive flushing, or wait a few minutes so the poop can soften because it's soaked in water huahahahaha... I crack myself remembering a lot of the effort I have to do just to get rid of my crap.
Now comes the best part, the combined western and eastern toilet.
The Flushable Squading Toilet (Equiped with toilet paper and water hand pump)
Take the best of both culture and mix it. And there is is. Making it short:
- you worry less about diseases transmitted from toilet seats
- you clean less much area on a squading toilet
- you see your crap for a good reason
- you push less and wont' worsen your hemroid
- you can flush afterwards
- you can wash up
- and dry the damp area with a bit of tissue
Perfect! Now why can't other gadgets be as genius as this? Why can't the east and west work together?
I was procrastinating hard on work today, it's the Chinese New Year and I'm celebrating by doing less work than the minimum that I do anyways. But I did more research for www.indohoy.com today which is still a good thing. Time wasn't wasted.
I stumbled on this blog while reading for indohoy. As I was reading about the oddities of toilet paper in Bangkok, I suddenly realize this:
Well call me the oddities of Asia on this tree pulp product! I use this supply for my morning sneezes, wiping the analysis probe when measuring pH, and for my usual dose of 'toilet paper functions' khihihihihi....
