It was my birthday ... it was my birthday... and then... the bom?

I had my birthday a few days ago... it was my 29th. Not a shamed to say it... well, learning to not be ashamed about it hehehe...

I had a GREAT day! A midnight surprise party by my housemates, work was great cos I learned so much from our brilliant consultant, had a special guest star popping up, getting excellent prezzies, and of course the -dinner with friends- fiasco. What a day...

Before hand, phycologically, turns out to be pretty scary becoming 29. It really is a close number to 30. Didn't feel it when I turned 28! Coming in to 30 seems like coming to a different stage. It felt as if I have to be different then who ever I was. Had thoughts circling... if I'm almost 29, but I feel like and seems like I live my life the way I did when I was 22, is that a good thing or a bad thing? This was the depression side of the whole 29th birthday experience. Depressed because I have this believe that it shouldn't due to society preassure. But since I have great friends, they succeeded in erasing such feeling making me all happy and learning to be proud being 29. It is just a number... as they say.

But here comes the worst part after a great party... the morning after! Well it wasn't so the morning after because I didn't sleep that night and headed straight to Bandung for the election... but it's the right saying. It's the days after that... when things become usual. And after all that love bunddled up in one day, tomorrow is another day. The next day, even though hectic with work, I still came to my normal usual house. Although I enjoy my me time very much, it was such a drastic change to to the full of love birthday. So this is the morning after they talk about. Ah well... I guess the worst part is what makes us wait at the edge of our seats for the next party event!

This was my birthday outfit. Dress code (which no body else wore): catholic school girl. I am trully 19 at heart :)

Want to comment about the bombing... I still have mixed emotions and thoughts about it... can't make a straight opinion about it like everyone else... how I wish I could! I'll pend it for a moment

Hoping that I invested well...

As the election came in the month of July 2009, the country became festive. It's no different to when the soccer season is here. People with banners, posters, and aqua bottles filled with rocks, decorate every candidate debate when open for public. I love it! People happy and full of hope!

I guess this is the reason I chose to use my vote this year. And it's no ordinary vote... it's my most expensive vote to date.



I got my ass down to Bandung just to make a small tick to the one I have faith in achieving a bit of the country's well being. I don't really care who wins actually.. I just have hope that I my vote increase the possibility of this person to help us develop our beloved country. Now how melancholic is that?

But who did I trust... ah... as I said to my boss when he asked me this...

"Let's just say, I'm a girl, that is Bugis, and born and raised in Jawa". So who do you think I voted for?

Offspring

I get mad like dad

I have a great sense of humor like mum

I haggle like mum

I have mums hair

I sometimes don't think much when spending on quality items like dad

I don't fuss about spending for the unfortunate like dad

I'm as loud as mum sometimes

My skin is like dad

My arabic look (some say) is from mum

I think like dad

When I don't think as much, I'm like mum

I nag as much as my mum sometimes

I'm patient as dad

I travel like mum

I work like dad

I watch tv like dad

I prance around like mum

I shop like my dad

I gossip like mum

I go out from the bathroom after a a shower like mum

That's all I can think off...

I do love my mum and dad!

The Worst to date

It's final. The worst drivers to date are those in Surabaya!!!

Currently...

I'm currently on the road around Jawa. A so called road trip actually. Making a few stops in some of the cities that is on my "to do list". In any typical case, it would be an easy thing to do... but not with Puspita, the VW Combi that me and my friends bought last year. The thing is, it was an old cheap VW to start with. Only about 6 million rups. But we fixed it, and now we're showing her the island. And it's not very fast and there is no air con or sound system either than the engine so... it's a challenge itself.



The thing that I wanted to remind myself about this road trip or any I guess is not primary about what you're going to see or the destination, it really about the trip itself, what you really see about where you are, the small things you realize, for me it's really about knowing what this island is all about, and of course getting to know more about the people you travel with and the the people you meet on the road.

So no stories yet about the trip but... I can tell you right now, this country has never seize to amaze me. Every corner is amusing and even for my friend Sally, which has been here and there in Jawa, there is always something new around the corner.

But then again I'm easily amused.

In Lyrics I Communcate

I'm not much of a poem person. I don't really understand it much. The words can tangle too much, they mean too much, I just can't grasp it. But I can take them a sentance or two, one at a time... I take them as quotes.

But what I do know about are lyrics of songs. I understand them more than poems. For me, lyrics are tales and messages, which actually talk to its listeners. They tell stories, experience, premenition, fantasies, and feelings. I guess this is what a poems says but I guess me no spreken any poem. People think lyrics are just words, but if you listen carefully, some songs have the utmost genius feeling to it. And the music actually help the message come through. One of my favorites lately is "I Am A Walrus" from the Beatles. I'm still wondering what it means incorporating to what they have felt when making such a song, and of course getting high. No body can write lyrics like that sober, please! I think everyone should try to get high once in a while and try to create someting... but that's another entry...

But as a person that appreciate lyrics as the soul of a song unless you are a true instrument player, I also believe that great lyrics don't always come from master of music. The pop genre has also created so many confortable meaning to our common life. One of my fav, which song I happen to come across lately is Staccie Orrico song "More To Life".

More To Life

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

CHORUS:
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Trippin' out thinkin' there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... There's gotta be more

(Than wanting more)

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half-way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

CHORUS

I'm wanting more

I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed....



Language wise it's simple english, nothing fancy and speaks a common issue. I believe that there a lot of people feeling like this, trapped in a superficial life, the life race. And they don't really realize that they are trapped. It's songs like this that sometimes wake them up to their situation. And the genius thing about it is that it has a great pop jammin hook to it's song, so you can move to it but still realize something. I'm not feeling like this at the moment, I just thought I'd mention it since it's a great song. I had a moment like this one time in my past but I didn't wake up to this song.
Now, for the sake of pop, at the moment I'm a : "All I can do is read a book to stay awake, and it rips my world away but it's a great escape" -No Rain, Blind Melon.

I love to discuss lyrics of songs, so if you have something to discuss about, like I am a Walrus, and you understand what it means, PM me, and we'll talk.

ps: Sally once asked me, why do people write lyrics on their blog? While they can search it themselves online. I say, if there is a good point in something, let people have less effort so they have more effort listening to that point you have.

A typical entry... a broken heart

I had a broken heart lately...

Thought I should make a note of it.

It's so hard being a girl and having a broken heart. It's so emotional, exhausting, and makes me nauseas. I wish I could make it more logical than emotional, but I can't... it's a girl thing.
Never been a guy so I wouldn't know what a guy thing is anyways. A girl thing is believing that there is a reason why things happen. It's also crying, reminiscing, sulking in bed for a few days, eating treats, and rambling what they feel on to friends.
I try to be logic, believe me! But sometimes there is an urgency of selfishness and logic becomes illogical. But life is driven by feelings anyways, if it was driven by logic there wouldn't be any uncertainty and chaos.

It's a classic case and I experience it in a classic way. I am a classical, probably conventional, girl. All the cliches are right, all the sayings are true... but one thing is interesting.

I've often hear people regret loving someone. Many love songs tell it so. They would rather never met the person that broke their heart than having thier heart shattered in the first place.

Now, this pain is awful and I so wish it would go away, but I have never regretted days I spent with the guy I was with. There was so many good memories and also bad but more good, and it filled my days with happiness and laughter and sorrow. And it made my life colorful. Why would I ever regret it to ever happen? Sure it's painful, but pain is part of life's game right?
Cases can range to just a simple heart broken like me, to cases of abused victims and fraud of wealth, so probably there are cases of regret when one is broken hearted. So would the case be... how heartless can someone be to break another heart so bad?

Do people that regret, never had happy moments? Or do they just forget and focus plus sulk in their misery? But if they never had any happy moments, how can they have a broken heart? Or could they merely had broken expectations?

Is a broken heart actually broken expectations? Is love a manifest of expectations and is never quite sincere? I still believe love is sincere with hope and not force of being love, and I don't categorize that as insincere, it's human.

But so be it, I guess people go through it once in their lifetime. I hope this is the only experience for me. Even if I do get my heart broken again in the future (knock on wood!), I hope I never regret the past of it.

Until the day I fall in love... :)